To You

I have found hope.

Bumpin Tunes

Humor only.
Not a choice in good taste.


It's Friday morning.
Facebook Friday as some would call it.
The start of the weekend, and the final weekend before all my friends and I depart for the Summer.
The end of the semester has come and the 5K clan is heading in different directions. Summer security sales, Wyoming hometowns, Invisi-shield mall kiosks.... and me nothing. At least I haven't decided yet. I'm indecisive and a procrastinator so waiting until the last minute to decide is what I excel at doing. I wouldn't call it skill but I have quite the finesse of doing so, often. This Summer brings unlimited options for what I could do but with so many choices my indecisiveness affects my choosing greatly. Oregon comes to mind, California... Sanpete County, my hometown and where my family is at. I could go spend it there but I feel that would be step back in my progression of life....
Its early this morning and my thoughts are so jumbled this half-post failed of an attempt at blogging probably makes no sense at all (live and learn). I'm running on a few hours sleep and its time to refresh some more. A shower would be excellent right now. Warm steamy water, the smell of shampoo and conditioner invigorating the nostrils, the splash of the water droplets against your skin... I love em. In fact I'll stop writing about them and go take one. A new weekend, more time to live, and learn.


New Day

A few things on my mind...


MEMO Senior Pictures
4 8x10 of 14 posts
15 of 2 bw trees
7 gazebo
wallet sizes
#4 40 4x6
This place for me is a journal. my thoughts of life and self will cover this blog space. I will speak from the heart, uninhibited and open. It is a place for me to grow. To learn how to feel and understand the things around me. To think. A place where i feel free and safe to write whatever is dearest to my heart. My shaken trust will be revived here. My heart will be worn on my sleeve, I shall be free.

After the Storm

And after the storm,
I run and run and run as the rains come,
and I look up,
I look up.
On my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

The night has always pushed up day,
You must know life to see decay
but I wont rot.
I wont rot,
Not this mind,
And Not this heart,
I won't rot.
And I took you by the hand
and we stood tall
and remembered our own land
what we live for.
But there will come a time you'll see,
with no more tears and love will not break your heart
but dismiss your fears and get over your hill and see
what you'll find there with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to one I knew.
I saw exactly what was was true,
and Oh no more.
Thats why I hold,
thats why I hold with all I have,
thats why I hold.
And I wont die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home
Oh god knows where.
Because death is just so full,
and man so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind
and what's before.
But there will come a time you'll see
with no more tears,
and love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears,
get over your hill and see what you find there,
with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

But there will come a time you'll see
with no more tears, 
and love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears, 
get over your hill and see what you find there, 
with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.


Remember that time we were attacked by those bees? I didn't get scared and cry...
Remember that time down at the Sanpitch when the tornado, I mean 'microburst' almost got us?

Do you remember when you were small and innocent?
Sometimes I forget.
And it makes me sad.
I grew up, too fast.
What happened to the care free summers, the late night night-games, huntin in the west hills,
fishing the sanpitch, rafting the river during spring run off, having food breaks when were supposed to be moving sprinkler pipe, skiing walker's run and the post, our walks home after church where we talked about life....

Those memories have all passed. I feel I have also.
I feel left behind, like i missed something. the only problem is that i don't know what i missed.
I feel missed. I feel alone. I feel lost. I feel needed.
I feel human.

Where is the man who was loved as a child?
See him there plowing the field,
He was once young,
He labors in the fields all day,
Returning at night to rest and start the work again in the morn'.
He dreams of being young and loved.
Dawn comes and he is grown.


I am addicted.
To many things,
Too many things.
Some things that I am addicted to I am proud to say that I am, most things I am not.
My newest addiction would be blogging. Two posts within a ten minute span, I'm already on a roll.
Another new addiction would be this girl. I think she fell from heaven but that's just my theory. So far it has been correct. The sweetest, softest voice matches beautiful sky blue eyes... A gaze into her eyes make me forget about everything, except her. And it's such a foreign and new feeling. She makes me feel. I learn to feel and to enjoy the small things in life when i am with her. my addiction is obvious. one sweet addiction. i'm thinking she deserves her own post. An undeserving tribute to such a deserving woman. However, my thoughts and feelings only grace the pages of an unknown blog. maybe these posts affect the future. with this current addiction i sure hope it does.
Other addictions aren't so easy to write about. Things kept locked inside of me, things that i haven't dared trust with anyone. i wont go into now but slowly im hoping to open up so i can learn to live, while living and learning. its just going to take time.

Its rare for me to care,
its rare for me to stare,
In you walked,
my eyes stalked
such a beautiful thing,
then you started to sing.
i want to say love,
there were doves...
but im just crazy,
youd be the only one
most definitely maybe...
youd be the only one.

It begins.

The days are long,
the nights are cold.
I've found solidity through it all,
upon sand it may be,
but on land,
you can still stand.

I have been inspired to blog. To write and post influential happenings in my life. Music, photos, quotes, rants, raves, failures, hopes,
Expectations may be missed,
Expectations may be exceeded,
But you Live and you Learn.

And so shall I.